Reclaiming my Calling

My sense of this blog lately is that it has been out of focus, at least as a place where I function as a prophet.

And, while I've held that belief about the blog for some time, I was willing to excuse myself for faltering and, though I tried, I was, for the longest time, unable to achieve any degree of focus as a prophet.

I know many of you have been praying for Evie, and for me too. And, I'm so very thankful.

What a year!

HER AORTIC VALVE WAS REMOVED AND A BOVINE REPLACEMENT WAS INSERTED.

The reality of the surgery that was performed on her still eludes my comprehension. It probably always will.

It's hard to describe how great was the spiritual, emotion and physical toll the surgery and the ongoing recovery took on me. You probably can't imagine how it's impacted her.

Since the spring, when Evie's valve began to give out and today, I've been located fairly low on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. And, try as I might, I have been ineffective in articulating prophetic insights and impulses.

And, I have tried.

I've deleted a bunch of posts that simply didn't turn out to be, in print, what they were in my heart. Others are sitting around as drafts which will probably never be published.

One has become a lengthy journal-like reflection on Lance's, "Seeking the Lost," eNews article in which I decided to explore, eventually only for myself, what it means to seek to bring, into the Kingdom, people who have not repented and who do not believe the gospel.

Do I seek the lost? Is what I do in the world in the Name of Jesus, and for the sake of the Kingdom, a seeking of the lost? It's unlikely that anyone but I will ever read those musings.

But, lately, I seem to have achieved a degree of clarity and focus that reminds me of the old days...

...a renewed sense of fury over the hypocrisy of CGGC Talk-ism and the profound sin of CGGC cynicism which results in leadership and the body ignoring each other in a dysfunctional/enabler relationship which has left us spinning our wheels, mindlessly carrying unspiritual traditions, which have been going unblessed from the first day we evolved/devolved them.

Interestingly, to me, while I have been exhausted, I have never been discouraged by the likelihood that my prophecies will be ignored.

The CGGC, as a body, seems petrified in its hard-heartedness.

It seems that we will never, again, connect talk with walk and that we will always choose cynicism over obedience to the "love one another" command of Jesus.

Yet, I know that there are, among us, men and women with ears who hear. And, I can still hope enough to pray that, from them, a remnant will surface.

My rejuvenation comes near the end of a calendar year which gives me occasion to note that 2018 has been same old, same old across the CGGC.

The Lord of all authority and power and blessing isn't blessing us, still.

We haven't changed. We have not turned from the sin that is producing our decline and decay.

We still must repent.