While My Cousin David was Dying

He's dead now.  He was the first of my generation of my dad's side of the family to die, and he was the second most young out of 20.

He developed lung cancer, which was stage 4 and had spread to his liver, spine and brain before he experienced symptoms.

He struggled for about six months until he succumbed.

One week before he died, his dad, my uncle, called me and told me that David was very ill that he was declining rapidly, was paralyzed from the waist down and that, before he died, he wanted to marry his long-time girlfriend.   My uncle called to ask me if I would go to David's home and perform the wedding.

I wanted to do exactly that.  Not because I enjoy doing weddings but because, in doing so, I would have a golden opportunity to offer David an opportunity repent of his sin and believe the Gospel.

But, I couldn't accept the invitation because the status of my credentials is cloudy due, in my opinion, to many acts of disobedience to the teachings of Jesus practiced by men who see themselves as leaders of my Conference.

I had to reject my uncle's invitation because I didn't want to bring David's widow into ERC politics. And put her in the position of having to deal with an illegal marriage. There are inheritance tax issues at stake.

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And, for the first time, I felt a negative emotion toward the people who set aside many teachings of Jesus to defrock me.

The fact is that I still have my ordination certificate and I have no intention, at the moment, of returning it. But, Evelyn said to me--shouted at me, "Bill, you are a defrocked minister!" In my mind, I'm not, but I couldn't bring my cousin's family into this ridiculous squabble.

And, as I said, for the first time I felt a negative emotion about the defrocking thing.  I was, well, furious doesn't touch describing my emotion. And, I'm still feeling that emotion.

Interestingly, I've been surprised about the emotional component of the defrocking thing.  I've been purely neutral and I guess it's because I believe I am a prophet walking reasonably faithfully in God's will and that this is what happens to prophets and, I guess, this is the peace of God that transcends all understanding. I only know that I have been emotionally neutral.

But, not when what my defrockers' actions touch my family in the way they have.

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Even at that, I forgive them, but when I think of my family, I can not forget this.