Looking Old

Can you believe that it is coming up on six years ago that Evie was diagnosed with cancer?

She approached cancer more positively than anyone I know. One decision she made at the time was to have her head shaved before she began chemo because she didn't want to be waking up to find clumps of hair on her pillow. The day her hair was shaved, I had mine buzzed to the scalp too, as a gesture of support.

Her hair has been back for years. It's different but beautiful.

I, however, have remained bald as a cue ball. In fact, some of my coworkers call me Billiard instead of Bill. I love it.

I have kept my head hairless for many reasons, the most important being that it is a reminder of the battle we went through and that that battle is never really won. (I think something like that nearly every time I look into a mirror.)

Also, though, I enjoy the effect my baldness has on others.

We live in an age in which many people, men included, try to look young and vigorous. Because I still have a goatee, and because that hair is almost all gray, most people think I am much older than I am. And, I still have a decent energy level for a person my age. So, I achieve old and vigorous. The effect fascinates me. Interestingly, one effect my apparent agedness has on people is that the millennials I work with often try to spare me from doing heavy work. I guess I remind them of their great grandfathers.

Watching the slow deterioration of my parents' minds, I've been thinking, lately, that I don't want to live long enough to be what they have become. But I do enjoy, actually, being believed to be old, even older than I am.

So, I go through life an apparent geezer.