If you read this blog, you know that, more often than not, my posts end with the words, "We must repent."
With very few exceptions, I write to my brothers and sisters in the CGGC.
I am a member of a CGGC church. I love the CGGC body and I am very deeply emotionally involved in its life, even if the body itself has excluded me.
So, when I emphasize repentance in those CGGC posts, I always say "we," understanding that, as a part of the CGGC system, I myself must participate in the repentance that needs to happen.
I have never mustered the courage, or audacity, to hold myself apart from the others, as Jesus often did, and as prophets normally do, and command others, simply, "Repent."
Though I'm convinced that I am a prophet, I've never actually called for repentance. I've only announced the need for repentance.
Realizing that startled me.
.....................
Off the blog, my friends sometimes suggest to me what they think my topics should be or propose a theme they believe I should pursue.
And, it was in that connection, some time ago, that I realized that...
...as I reflect on the vision given to me and the Words I receive, that my calling seems to be connected, not to calling for repentance, as is standard among prophets...
...but on highlighting what comes BEFORE repentance.
.....................
I'm certain that we, in the CGGC won't repent now. We can't repent now because our hearts are not able to produce repentance.
Our hearts are, well, Old Testament Hebrew would say, hard.
We're still, what? too content? too happy? too at ease with ourselves?
We say that we know that we are experiencing numerical decline and spiritual decay but we're still not broken.
We are still creating our own plans. We continue to develop programs. By our fruit, we declare ourselves capable of turning this mess around.
But,...
Jesus really did offer His invitation only to these people: "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened..."
His, "Sermon on the Mount" truly begins saying that the people who are blessed are those who are poor in spirit and who mourn and are meek and who hunger and thirst for righteousness.
As I say over and over again here, Paul announced a recipe for salvation that involves godly sorrow producing the sort of repentance that leads to salvation.
Paul instructs that we work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.
....................
The mix of my gifts makes me a prophet of...
...and I know that some of you hate when I make up fancy, hundred dollar words, and to you I apologize, but I can't get this word out of my mind...
Proto-repentance. Of what comes BEFORE repentance.
In the CGGC, we bounce back and forth from one failure to another and from disappointment to disappointment...
...unphased...
...with a Forest Gump belief that life is like a box of chocolates and you never know what you are going to get.
And, we go on, always disappointed. Still reaching into the box, hoping that the next piece of chocolate will be sweet and tasty.
It never is.
It won't ever be.
We are unbroken...
...but, the Lord heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Ps. 147:3 and a gazillion other Bible verses)
So, certainly. We must repent. But, we won't. Not as we are now.
We need to allow ourselves to become the people Jesus welcomes.
We need to admit, first of all to ourselves, that we are weary. We are over loaded.
We need to stop striving.
We need to come to Him.
We need to learn from Him.
He is gentle and humble. His yoke is easy. There is a burden with Him, but it is light.
What we need now is what comes BEFORE repentance.
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