My Mom and Dad

Evie and I are walking on egg shells these days.


It was about five years ago that we first noticed that dad's mind was far short of what it had been. That reality became clear when he could no longer handle his check book. He used to be a perfectionist who kept track of every penny mom and dad had. Living in an independent living community, they had two or three checks he had to write in a typical month. For a while, it was taking him about an hour to write checks. Then he couldn't even do that. We were happy to help out but soon discovered that he had forgotten about large sums of money in savings and that he was hording large sums of cash in their condo which he had forgotten about. It was at that point, we realized how serious his issue was.
Mom, at that time, was able to understand the seriousness of his problem. We all love dad and, with mom on board, we were able to keep things safe for them and all of us in the whole family were still happy and content.
My parents' doctor is also on board, mom and dad respect him. He was clear that dad does suffer from dementia. And, he has been a resource to the whole family, not only to mom and dad.
It was about six months ago that we began to pick up from mom signs of what has the look of Alzheimer's. My brother's father-in-law died less than a year ago after years suffering from Alzheimer's so his wife and he are experienced. They tell us that the disease comes in plateaus. Apparently, mom has recently reached another plateau.
She has always been a sweet spirited person and had as good a sense of humor as I have ever known.
Suddenly, she is fearful and paranoid.


Watching this is scary and heartbreaking. Our entire family is walking ground we haven't walked before. All of us work demanding, full time jobs. Mom is on the phone to one or the other of us sometimes four times a day, often demanding an immediate visit. Her paranoia often makes it impossible for her to take her medications, some of which she desperately needs. Her moods swing radically. She often forgets things she's recently said or did.
Most tragically, mom and dad distrust what we are doing to care for them and protect them.


Add to this is the toll all of this is taking on Evie and me in our ministries on on our jobs and in community of gatherings. For the moment, we have actually suspended our involvement in the Wednesday and Thursday gatherings. That truly breaks our hearts.
Still, in all of this, we know the love, grace and mercy of God.