I've been thinking this thought for some time and wondering if I have the courage...and wisdom...to put it into human language faithfully.
Here goes.
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I'm convinced that, if you have a ministry calling, your first awareness of that calling told who the Lord wants you to be in Him.
At any rate, that has been the case for me.
After many years, I found my way when I set aside the institutional training and theological education I received which prepared me to become a local church pastor.
I connected to the passions and joys of my first days, weeks and months of sensing a calling. And, I realized that those passions and joys...the vision once so alive in me...were still alive, though I had decided to suppress them in order to operate peacefully in the organized and institutional church.
I recalled, in those first moments, a joyful passion for truth above all things. And, though I didn't recognize it at the time, I connected to the passion and vision of the prophet.
I realized that, from the time I entered seminary and, shortly thereafter, was appointed, for the first time, as a local church pastor, I felt disoriented. I was an "ugly duckling," trying to do the job I was assigned to do, yet doing it uncomfortably and, usually, very poorly.
It was when I read Ephesians 4:13...not 4:11...that I began to live in a way I'd not been alive since I first began to believe I was called.
Ephesians 4:13 puts an expiration date on verse 11, "until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God..."
Ephesians 4:11 is still the way. Jesus is still giving some to be apostles...and prophets and evangelists and shepherds and teachers.
In reality, the passions and joys and visions I experienced when I first became aware of my calling aligned with the Word.
Prophets often pay a price to live in their calling among the people of the organized religion of their time and place. I've paid a price, though not the high price others have paid.
In spite of that, I feel more at peace than I ever did when I was attempting to be a faithful member of the institutional church.
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It's at this point that wisdom is needed. It's because of what comes next that I've been so cautious about writing this post.
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I've known Lance Finley for nearly 30 years.
When we first met, Lance was young. He was a seminary student but he was still raw in his calling.
And, he was a vastly different person than the man you probably know...the guy who occupies the corner office in the denominational headquarters building in Findlay. He was not the sophisticated, careful thinker who writes reasoned and moderate eNews articles that appear on the CGGC blog.
Two thoughts about the Lance I knew then have been floating through my mind.
1. That raw Lance was an iconoclast. (If you need to, look the word up. I know it's an unusual word, but it's the word that keeps coming to me, over and over again. The word fits perfectly.)
2. The raw Lance, I believe, might be the very person, walking in the Spirit's power and in his calling, to show us the way out of our decline and decay.
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One of the Core Values talked in the Strategic Plan is, Daring Action.
Nothing about the plan is daring. The whole thing...
...including and especially the promise that, no matter who you are, you are not expected to adopt it, though we want you to talk about it...
...is daring.
The whole thing is tepid and timid.
So much so that it allows for talk about daring action but promises that no one is expected to practice anything daring.
Interestingly, the Lance I knew back in the day, lived every moment on the edge.
Back in the day, Lance was Daring Action in the flesh.
He was also charming and immensely likable in doing it. He was daring but never threatening.
He was an instigator. Lance could stir things up. He could promote change. He could make you question silly traditions, or icons.
If you're a geezer like I am, who knew him back then, you'll remember.
Lance stood out. He would, sometimes, make you feel uncomfortable as he made light of silly traditions and silly ways. But, and I'll say this only for myself. He never made me feel threatened.
That raw Lance, whom I remember so well, is gone. As far as I'm concerned, he's not forgotten.
Can today's Lance be convinced to be raw. Not immature, but real. True to who he was when his calling was fresh?
I hope so.
Because...
That Lance. That raw Lance. That guy, I believe, could be the person for this hour in the CGGC.
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