The Family Holiday Gathering

We got together on, well, Xmas eve.

This may turn out to be the beginning of a new tradition. Evie and I have gotten together with my brother's family on the 24th for years and then met again with mom and dad on the 25th with mom and dad.

In recent years, the gatherings on the 25th were defined, for me, by the crumbling of dad's mind.

This year, Evie and I will take mom to Park City Diner for what the Diner calls "Christmas dinner." We made reservations. My brother's family will visit mom later in the day.

So, the whole family met on Xmas eve at our place because there are no steps and because there's a biffy on the main floor.

Everyone except mom contributed food. There was way too much to eat. The format followed the pattern of the Xmas eves of the past but with mom present.

That means silliness is the rule.

Evie asked that I start with prayer...I presume because mom was present...but it seemed appropriate. I gave thanks for all the things you would, even thanking God that He loved us so much that He gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

I concluded my prayer thanking God for dad and the example he provided and the life he lived.

Uncharacteristicly, at the end, I heard several whisper, "Amen."

The gathering was bittersweet.

As we expected, as a result of the trauma of dad's death, mom has slipped a little further into Alzheimer's, not far yet, but further.

As I've said, dad just got sweeter and sweeter as his vascular dementia took him. Alzheimer's is another story, normally...at least, from what I understand.

It seems that mom's descent will not be like dad's.

Much of my personality comes from her and, so, this is especially challenging for me.

One positive thing with mom is that her love language has become very obvious. (These days, mom is something close to a 7 year old with very bad hearing and no short-term memory.) It's easy to know how to make her feel loved. Evie just talked to her and mom's memories of yesterday are very pleasant. That's adds to the sweetness of the memory for me.

It was probably happier to meet in a way that didn't have a definite connection to our memories of dad. He was very definitely in our hearts and we mentioned him from time very happily and pleasantly.

One other note: We gathered on Sunday morning. While many of us are very serious about following Jesus, there was no thought in anyone's mind about attending a church. I know some of the rest of them go to a church building from time to time, but Jesus is a much bigger part of our lives than what has become of the church.

Interesting.

Considering the loss of dad...and that we're still missing Lizzie...yesterday was a blessing.